Time is Not Wasted

Yesterday I had a follow-up appointment with my oncologist. It was different from the first appointment. When I went in last week, it was early in the morning and I was the only one in the waiting room. There was one other gal back in the chemo room, but it was a very quiet morning. Yesterday was different. As I walked into the waiting room, it was bustling. When I take my kid’s to our primary care physician, I never really know what people are there for. It is sometimes more visible: broken leg, snotty nose, etc … but I don’t really know the circumstances of their visit. Yesterday I was also overwhelmed with the idea that everyone (or at least one person per pair) in that room was fighting cancer. I am pretty sure no one volunteers to see an oncologist for headaches – I sure as heck wouldn’t. Although there are lots of different types of cancer, I recognized that everyone there was going through a pretty substantial battle. The other major difference yesterday was I was the only one in my 30s. Not only that, but there wasn’t a patient that was less than 70. It was odd. I felt like I was really in the wrong place at the wrong time. Wrong! I was EXACTLY where God needed me to be.

My appointment ran an hour and half late and despite cancer being a super time waster I was enjoying visiting with people. People I would not have the opportunity to see and talk to without cancer. I met a man who’s dad is struggling with colon cancer and he himself is an agronomist who will struggle this year because of the financial impact of the drought of last year. Boy, did he speak cowboy language I understood – stinkin’ drought. (Whoa, tangent, refocus…) I met a lovely elderly couple where the wife has lung cancer and the husband has bladder cancer. My conversational opener… “Nice pink case on your iPad.” This guy was 70+ and sporting a snazzy pink encased iPad – I was actually really impressed. He brings it to his appointments to record them so he can send the audio file to his daughter in Washington. I don’t even know how to do that. We had the time to talk about cancer and Jesus’ ability and power to heal us. I spoke a little louder than I should have to make sure some innocent bystanders heard our conversation.

Overall, my appointment went well. My blood count looked good, my white blood cells are down just a bit, but that is normal. My doctor wants to change my anti-nausea despite me telling him that it was okay. I shared with him my philosophy that having cancer is much like being pregnant. I survived 7 months of nausea during my pregnancy with Jake and 6 months with Matt. Dr. Lininger chuckled and told me that he intended better for me during my treatment. We have a real praise report that he is willing to allow me to come in on Monday a little early to do my blood draw right before chemo rather than another trip to Sterling the Friday prior to my infusion. Woo hoo.

As I drove home I was panicking because my two and half hour trip to town turned into five. Roy was at home with the boys and I just know he has five million things to do on the ranch. I took a breath and the Lord revealed to me that this was “His time”. I am on this journey to devote time to Him and His purpose. The time I will spend with people I know and those I don’t will NOT be wasted.

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One thought on “Time is Not Wasted

  1. Aunt Ruth says:

    My beautiful loving niece Your strength will be found in the Lord he has a mission for you that you and I have no idea what it is but, your love for him will help you to find the answer to what he has in store for you and your family trust in him thru the light of day and the darkness of night he will walk with you always love you and praying for you every day

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