What is great?

The word “great” according to Funk (wouldn’t that have been a great last name?) & Wagnalls  is defined many ways, but includes: adj. 1. Very large, immense; big; vast. 2 Being much more numerous than the average. 5 Of large or the largest importance; mighty; foremost. 8 Important, weighty; momentous. I have been pondering the word great lately. As I began down my road with cancer the first primary revelation was that this would be a journey for God’s glory (hence the title). One of the very next revelations was that something great would come from this journey. I am now one month post-remission, and I am wondering what will be good enough to be considered great…

I have wondering if merely surviving chemo is great? I believe if one person is saved because of my testimony that would be great. Somehow, great seems larger than either of those, but there is nothing greater than souls be saved from the fiery pits of hell, so I am not certain where that leaves me. I do know that this revelation (of something great coming from my recent experience with cancer) has been confirmed by numerous Christian friends without me even mentioning it. My current prayer is that I would know clearly what that great thing was or is. I am so willing to be God’s vessel, and just wonder if I missed the great thing that was supposed to come out of this journey. What if God has something HUGE planned and I am missing it? Isn’t that a common concern we have? I am reminded of a Bible study Roy and I led in Wyoming called Love Works. It is based on 1 Corinthians 13, the love chapter, and one of things Wayman Howard states is that God will use us right where we are. We often search around to make sure we are exactly where we are supposed to be. Hello! God will use us in every situation, under every circumstance, and every single day. I am not concerned about NOT doing God’s work, I am just wondering if it is great? I believe that time I am investing in youth is great, but what if God is calling me to do more? I know my family will lynch me if I get involved in one more thing. I may go ahead and hang myself up by my toenails, just to ensure my brain is getting enough blood to think clearly again. There is a coming opportunity to get involved in a Cancer Support Group. I don’t want to. I don’t want to have been a person who survived cancer, because again, I wish I have never endured it. But I did. I cannot be an ostrich and stick my head in the sands of denial. The super cool thing about this opportunity is that my favorite oncologist of all time (which might be slightly unfair, because I have only had two), Dr. Lininger is coming back to northeast Colorado to lead this group. It will ONLY be to provide spiritual support for those battling cancer. How cool is my retired oncologist? When my childhood best friend, Michael, told me that I would be a “t-shirt wearer” following cancer, I abruptly told him “NO! I will not.” I may be about to make myself a liar. I cannot imagine how incredibly hard it would have been to battle cancer without Jesus and an outstanding prayer army. I remember going through tribulations without Jesus, and there is nothing scarier, darker or harder. What if there is an opportunity to speak words of life into people and really know what they are going through? Apparently, I am full of questions tonight… Time to pray and focus on hearing the magnificent voice of God. I certainly don’t want to miss out on something great!