Pregnant Again – The Journey Continues!

I wrote a blog post in March 2013 called “Cancer Sucks,” and in that post I wrote, “Cancer sucks because my treatment may kill my ability to have children in the future, and I am not done!” During my first appointment with my oncologist he suggested that I bank my eggs for the future. He believed that my treatment would likely cause permanent damage to my ovaries/eggs. I was devastated. There were so many decisions to make. We did look into the idea of egg banks but simply harvesting my eggs was going to cost over $15,000. That was staring us in the face along with the potential of hundreds of thousands of dollars in medical bills and what seemed like such big decisions. They were big decisions!

1st round of chemo

Me looking veeery sleeping during my first round of chemo. I took a nap immediately after this picture was taken.

In another blog post from May 2013, I scared my readers with a title, “Cancer and Pregnancy,” and in it I listed similarities between the two adventures.

“I believe there are a lot of similarities between cancer and pregnancy (as well as some incredibly severe differences). My list of similarities:

  • Your digestive system gets completely out of whack
  • Nausea
  • Fatigue
  • Weight gain
  • Sense of smell is increased
  • Sensitivity to certain foods
  • Growing a foreign object (growing a baby is WAY cooler than trying to kill what I am growing – so that might be a difference)
  • Unsolicited advice (my personal favorite)

I can’t wait to experience all of these things again, for a completely different outcome…”

It completely amazes me that we are here in this very moment. I am pregnant with our 3rd child. I can’t understand the magnitude of the Lord’s grace right now. That is why it is called grace. I am overwhelmed with how amazing and wonderful our God is. He alone will be glorified! He chose us for this time and purpose.

Now here is the amusing part of the story (you’ll have to wait until the end for the funny part…).

We started trying for another child about 5-1/2 years ago and fervently praying for this next babykins. I started not feeling well and after a 6 month pursuit of doctors and answers I was finally diagnosed with cancer. Stage II Hodgkins-Lymphoma. Although we were forced to stop trying to get pregnant, my heart toward having another a child never changed. I often thought, “What if being pregnant with Matt was the last time I will ever feel a child growing inside me…? What if that was the last time I would ever nurse a child…?” “What if…?”

Chemo lasted for 6 months and then the doctors recommended we wait at least another year to starting pursuing growing our family. Again, even though we weren’t “trying” it didn’t mean my heart wasn’t yearning. A year isn’t just a year. It is 12 months of waiting.

We fiiiiiinally got the all clear and we continued to battle infertility. It took 35 months for Jake to come along and we had travelled this road before. I don’t like this road much. It is bumpy – it caused marriage issues, emotional issues, financial issues, life issues. But you know what the Lord does during times on the bumpy road? He worked on me. He worked on my husband. He worked and we waited! The “refiner’s fire” is NOT about drinking margaritas on the beach and watching the sea gulls pass by overhead. It about cleansing us of impurities. Oh, to think of the fire I will still endure! There is much refining yet to be done 🙂

Well, after 5-1/2 of praying for this specific child, in August I couldn’t quite remember when I would need to take a pregnancy test – I actually stopped paying attention for about 6 seconds. So….I think I was about 4 days late and I took a $0.88 pregnancy test. I use to buy the $15.00 version because I love reading “PREGNANT.” Well, I had apparently gotten cheap. I have taken so many pregnancy tests in my life it was a reasonable choice to pick the cheap one 😉

I read the instructions, “You may see results in one minute….” and then I stopped reading. I waited for about 57 seconds, didn’t see anything and threw it in the trash. I thought, “Well, another $0.88 down the drain.” 2 days later I still hadn’t started and I thought, “What in the world is going on?” I took another test and read the instructions a little further…”You may see results in one minute, but it may take up to three.” Oops! I can wait for 5-1/2 years to get pregnant, but I can’t wait 3 minutes to read the tests results? Apparently not! Darn thing showed positive. I came out of the bathroom and said to Roy, “I think I’m pregnant!” The rest is history. Or really just the beginning!

In case you were wondering (as I was), I did dig the first test out of the trash and it did show positive. Patience is a virtue that sometimes only last me 57 seconds 🙂

Hope you choose to journey with us on this brand new adventure! This baby continues the Journey for His Glory!

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3 thoughts on “Pregnant Again – The Journey Continues!

  1. As a fellow infertility fighter, I teared up reading this. CONGRATULATIONS on your latest blessings.
    Praise God!

  2. Shauna says:

    So happy for you! I understand the waiting and I’m soooo happy and excited!

  3. Jenn says:

    Oh my friend how reading this just brings me such absolute joy for you and your family! I remember standing in the fellowship hall at United Church of Crook before you spoke to a room full of women about your battles. You said how much you wanted another baby and that day I began praying for the Lord to bless you! Whether it was with a baby, no more cancer, whatever…I just felt a pull to pray for happiness for you. As I went through my pregnancy with Morgan I prayed over and over that you would have another chance to feel all the feelings I was feeling. As I sit here in my car with tears streaming down my face, I am just so excited for you my heart is overflowing. This baby will be one of the luckiest little babies EVER because he/she has been handpicked to be part of one of the most wonderful families I have ever had the chance to know! I pray for a healthy, stress free, wonderful, best pregnancy anyone can have for you…I can’t wait to meet the next little Gillham. You are an amazing mama and I am just so happy for you! Praise God!

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